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The fall term passed peacefully and productively for me in Shieli. The main stories born of it involve my fourth-graders, whose energy goes up 100 watts at the possibility of playing “charades;” my ninth-graders who are applying to study in the USA next year; my drama club, thick in the rehearsal process for “Rumpelstiltskin;” a teacher-training session on responding positively to misbehavior in the classroom; a local friend who is eagerly planning her wedding; my first forays into Kazakh dance; and conversations about vampires, boyfriends, childrearing, studying Japanese, and other diverse subjects with my new host sister… And I hope I will have the chance, someday soon, to set down each of these stories in a little more detail.

Right now, though, I think I need to direct your attention to something beyond my personal experiences – because, for Peace Corps Kazakhstan as a whole, the past few months have been anything but peaceful.

Some of you back in the States may have gotten a few murky clues from your end of the rumor mill, but for those who haven’t, the situation is basically this: first of all, for reasons that I probably can’t go into on a public blog, no one in our organization knows if the leadership of Kazakhstan will allow us to stay in the country much longer (say, within another year). Secondly, since the summer there has been an inexplicable wave of rapes and sexual assaults on volunteers here: at least four since July. The statistical spike in these incidents for Kazakhstan is so bad that Peace Corps Headquarters in Washington recently dispatched a team of medical and security experts to Kazakhstan to assess our safety first-hand.

I spent my fall break at a Peace Corps conference, where most of the conversations I heard reflected the grief, anger, bewilderment, and anxiety that many volunteers are feeling in response to these events. And as for me, even though a feel a little more secure, given that I’m nearing the end of my service and believe that there are people I can trust at site, I’ve decided to put certain restrictions on myself during my last months here. Most importantly, I intend not to form relationships of any kind, or even to carry on conversations, with most men here, because I think this culture has only one interpretation of the slightest closeness between a woman and a man. Maybe that isn’t really true – but in this case I’d rather risk being wrong than find out the hard way I was right.

This is something that over one hundred Peace Corps volunteers are struggling with right now. So for those of you at home, please send along your prayers, or your good thoughts, or whatever you like to call them, that all of us, and those in charge of us, will find a way to heal from what has happened, and to ensure our safety in the future – whatever that takes. And if any PC Kaz volunteers are reading this: I hope that the work you do, and the people you encounter every day at site, give you some moments of pure silliness, or fascination, or warmth, to break up the clouds overhead… And I hope you’re holding on to the people you feel closest to, who can give you the support you need. That much, at least, is within our control.

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